Dear Parents, 

Thank you, once again, for your time and attention in our class together. 

We really appreciate everyone’s willingness to participate in the Parents Helping Parents format. It was a wonder to witness the solutions you all came up with!  We also appreciate your ideas for solving the fact that we tend to run out of time each week. Next week we will extend the class until 11:30 for those of you who can stay until then. 

Speaking of solutions, if you find yourself struggling to find a consequence for a misbehavior in your home, then we encourage you to stop looking for consequences and look for solutions instead. Use the problem solving steps with your child to come up with solutions together. You will be surprised how many great ideas they have!  Implementing family meetings is another way to shift the focus from blame to solutions in your home. 

Please find some additional resources on solutions, family meetings and self esteem below! 

Homework

Read Positive Discipline Chp. 7 & 9 

Implement Family Meetings – start small and use the guide provided in class to build up to the full format. 

Journal about an experience you had “in the learning pit” and how you came out of it. Share your story with someone in your family. 

Model Making Mistakes – Try living your life out loud. Talk about a mistake you made and where you are  in the learning pit. Ask for your child’s feedback. Perhaps he or she has ideas for you on how to lean into the struggle and how to “get out” of the pit! 

See you next Tuesday 🙂

Carey & Amira 

• Family Meeting Album – download, from positivediscipline.com – under products https://www.positivediscipline.com/products/family-meeting-album-e-book-download-pdf-file
• Podcast with Jane Nelsen on Family Meetings https://www.positivediscipline.com/sites/default/files/family_meetings.mp3
• Focus on Solutions – Podcast Example another podcast with Jane Nelsen
• Article on self-esteem You can’t give your child self esteem
• Link to the article  on how the learning pit can increase your child’s self esteem The Learning Pit: How to Teach Children To Be Resilient 

Dear All, 

I hope you enjoyed our time together this morning as much as we did! You are all such devoted parents. Your children are very lucky to have you! 

Today was a lot to digest…please remember: 

Follow your own parental wisdom and start SMALL! Pick only ONE thing that you want to change this week. Maybe you just want to focus on connecting with your child. The relationship you nurture with your child IS YOUR GREATEST PARENTING TOOL! Bring more lightness and remember to have fun and just ENJOY him or her. A shift in our attention from the problem to the relationship can be so very powerful! 

Maybe you want to start with making your OWN changes and really get clear about what you are willing to do. Whatever you choose, remember it  takes time to learn new habits. The idea is not PERFECTION but PROGRESS! 

Above all, take care of yourselves! Your child needs you to be the calm when they are in a storm. Practicing  self-care allows you to be less reactive and more responsive. 

Please see the resources we discussed below,  including links for creating  family media agreements. 

Homework

Read Positive Discipline Chp. 6 

Create a Positive Time Out Area with your family. 

Try 1 of the 18 ways to avoid power struggles to try this week! 

Create an opportunity for your family to do a compliment circle –  Gather up and ask everyone in the family to give themselves a compliment/acknowledge something they are doing well. After that, brainstorm an idea of something the family can do together during the upcoming week and put it on the schedule. 

Have a wonderful week and see you next Tuesday!

1. Logical Consequences and Avoiding Morning Hassles podcast with Jane Nelson herself as she goes through many of the tools! 
2. Positive Time Out with Jane Nelsen video of Jane  Nelsen explaining how to use Positive Time Out effectively.
3. Child Won’t Leave When It is Time to Go – a great article with tips on what to do when your child doesn’t want to leave, including, how to Decide What YOU will Do and Follow Through 
4. Family Media Plans here and here  – for those of you who want to start reigning it in a bit more and are ready to create a media plan WITH THE FAMILY! 
5. Better Screen Time – www.betterscreentime.org (amazing resource and where I found the Smartphone Readiness Checklist!) 
6. Child Mind Institute – www.childmind.org (one of my favorite sites for keeping myself informed on how technology is impacting our wellbeing – PLUS – they give lots of free resources and easy to use tips!) 

Dear Parents,

Thank you, once again, for your time and energy in the Parenting Together course! We hope you left feeling connected to others and compassionate towards yourself.

As Dreikurs once said,

“Whenever you feel dismayed or you find yourself thinking, ‘My gosh, I did it all wrong,’ don’t reproach yourself. You need to constantly reinforce your own courage, and to do so, you need the ‘courage to be imperfect’. The application of these principles will take time. You can’t do it all at once. Each small improvement is a step forward. Each step forward is the source of further encouragement.”

As promised, we have included links to the videos (and a great article on routines) that were shared in class, at the end of this email.

HOMEWORK: 

Read Positive Discipline Chapter 5

Teach and model the brain in the palm of your hand to your family. The next time you “flip your lid” practice the 4Rs of Recovery. 

Journal about your favorite discipline methods and make guesses about what your children might be learning from your methods. Have the courage to be imperfect!

Have a wonderful rest of the week everyone!

All the best,

Carey & Amira  

Alison Gopnik – How Young Children Think – Ted talk with Alison Gopnik about the young child’s brilliant mind (this is the video we were referring to that is quite insightful for understanding a child’s world) 

Routine Charts by Positive Discipline with Jane Nelsen and her daughter, Mary, on how to make a routine chart with your child. 

A typical child on Piaget’s conservation tasks – – here is the video of the adorable 4 year old completing Piaget’s task 

Brain in Palm of Your Hand with Daniel Siegel – Dan Siegel demonstrates his model “Brain in the Palm of Your Hand” 

How to Teach Brain in the Palm for Younger Children by Sproutable – a wonderful video that gives more specific tips for teaching this concept to our young ones

The Animals in My Brain by Sarah Joseph – link to the read aloud “animas in my brain” 

Control Your Behavior – Positive Discipline Tool by Jane Nelsen Click on the link and scroll down to Jane’s story where she talks about how she practiced the 4R’s of Recovery with her own daughter, Mary. 

Why Kids Need Structure by Dr. Laura Markham – a great article on the importance of routines

Dear Parents,

I hope you are enjoying your weekend! 

Our last session together was an invitation to view misbehavior as an expression of our child’s perception about themselves, others and the world around them.  It can be a lot to digest. My hope is that you left with a greater empathy for yourself and others. 

We explored our needs through the Glasser Needs Inventory.   Please remember that this inventory is only useful as A BRIDGE TO UNDERSTANDING our children  and ourselves. It is not meant to classify you. Each human is far too complex and unique for that. That being said, it can be very powerful for increasing awareness of our own ways of handling stress and the stress we might invite from others.   

Homework

Read Positive Discipline Chapter 4. Use the chapter 4 study guide in your course binder as a way to deepen your understanding. 

Notice Mistaken Goals – pay attention to how your child’s behavior makes you feel. How you feel is a powerful indicator of what might be going on under the surface for your child. Use the last column of the mistaken goal chart as a resource for new responses that speak to your child’s possible underlying beliefs.

Explore Your Own Needs –I invite you to take another look at the Glasser Needs’ Summary page. Take a look at “what you do when you are stressed” and see if you can come to any insights  that are helpful.  I find this section particularly helpful in understanding how my loved ones respond to stress too! 

Above all – take care of yourselves and enjoy the rest of your weekend.  

Hugs, 

Carey & Amira