Month: November 2022

The Power of Beliefs

“We are self-determined by the meaning we give to our experiences; and there is probably something of a mistake always involved when we take particular experiences as the basis for our future life. Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to them.” – Alfred Adler, What Life Could Mean to You

Today’s session took a deep look underneath behavior at the beliefs, needs and burdens our teens carry with them. It is a lot to digest and our hope is that you left with a greater empathy for yourself and your teens. If you’d like to learn more about private logic and the work of Dr. Alfred Adler, check out the  Alfred Adler Institute of Northwestern Washington webpage: http://www.adlerian.us/homepage.htm.

Make sure the Message of Love gets through

Connection before Correction is a principle that is a pillar in the positive discipline approach.

By connecting FIRST to our teen, we ensure that they know and they feel our love.

Session 4 – Homework & Reading

  1. Read Positive Discipline for Teenagers Chp. 6

2. Validating and Accepting Communication – Continue to create space for your teen to be seen, heard and validated as you support them through difficult times.

3. Take Care Of Yourself – Your teen needs you to be their pillar – so try as best you can to practice self-care. This includes allowing your feelings to MOVE and to unfold as they will naturally. MOVEMENT is key…whether that be through talking, crying, journaling, art or physically moving your body.

4. Follow the journal prompt in the Homework Session 4 page to deepen your experience.

Session 3 – Homework & Reading

ReadPositive Discipline for Teenagers Chp. 12. This chapter solidifies what we talked about today.  We will be coming back to it next week when we take a closer look at how and when misbehavior shows up. 

Glasser Needs’ Summary page – review this and identify your strengths in ALL of the categories. These are your priorities,  not your personality. Use this information in the journal prompt below. 

Do – Break the Code – The next time your teen misbehaves, tune in to how you were feeling. (consider keeping a journal). Look at the mistaken goal chart (later, when you are calm) and see if you can identify the mistaken goal.Try one of the encouraging responses that matches the mistaken goal you have identified

Follow the journal prompt in the Homework Session 3 page to deepen your experience.

Session 2 – Homework & Reading

  1. Read Positive Discipline for Teenagers Chapter 3 

2. Use curiosity questions to promote your teen’s sense of belonging and connection. Drop into his or her world with a genuine curiosity for their point of view. 

TIP: refrain from beginning your question with the word WHY. Use WHAT or HOW questions to help you learn more about his or her world.

3. Practice being kind AND firm at the same time– use the tools shared today to help you connect while  holding  the boundaries or expectations you have. 

4. Follow the journal prompt in the Homework Session 2 page to deepen your experience.