Category: Session 2 – Tweens & Teens

The ESSENCE of Adolescence

Adolescence begins during puberty and lasts until the child becomes a contributing member of society. Dr. Daniel Siegel says this can begin as early as age 11 or 12 and lasts until age 24-25 (or when the prefrontal cortex if fully developed). In his book, Brainstorm, Dr. Siegel clears up some of the major myths surrounding adolescence. One of which is the myth that adolescence is a period to endure or to just get through. When in fact, the changes happening in the brain are  are the qualities we actually need in order to live a full and meaningful life in adulthood.

In the video below, Dr. Siegel explains the concept of ESSENCE, which is his acronym for summarizing 4 aspects of adolescence that arise from the brain’s growth & development during the adolescent years.

Curiosity Questions for Teens

(adapted from www.positivediscipline.com)

 Curiosity questions help your teen explore the consequences of his or her choices in a way that leads to solutions. What happened? What do you think caused it to happen? How do you feel about it?

Curiosity questions are very different from telling teens what to do. This tool invites teens to think and choose for themselves. It gives them an opportunity to think through the consequences of their choices. Using open ended questions, that come from your heart, also creates a connection between you and your teen as you “get into their world.”

See Telling VS Asking Statements for Teens for more examples!

Session 2 – Homework & Reading

  1. Read Positive Discipline for Teenagers Chapter 3 

2. Use curiosity questions to promote your teen’s sense of belonging and connection. Drop into his or her world with a genuine curiosity for their point of view. 

TIP: refrain from beginning your question with the word WHY. Use WHAT or HOW questions to help you learn more about his or her world.

3. Practice being kind AND firm at the same time– use the tools shared today to help you connect while  holding  the boundaries or expectations you have. 

4. Follow the journal prompt in the Homework Session 2 page to deepen your experience.