Today you had a chance to explore and to get to know your own needs using the William Glasser’s Primary Needs Inventory . Please remember that this inventory is only useful as A BRIDGE TO UNDERSTANDING our teens and ourselves. It indicates a person’s  goal for reaching a particular need that he or she has identified (in a given situation or time period) as a priority for him or her. It is only one part of the road map used in moving towards that goal and only one part of a person’s private logic.It is not meant to classify you nor is it meant to be used as a measure for predicting others’ behavior.  EACH HUMAN IS FAR TOO COMPLEX AND UNIQUE FOR THAT! That being said, it can be a very powerful for increasing awareness of our own ways of handling stress and the stress we might invite from others.   

Take a look at the William Glasser Needs’ Summary page and see if you can identify yourself and your strengths in the other need categories. Take a look at “what you do when you are stressed” and see if you can come to any insights  that are helpful. 

“We are self-determined by the meaning we give to our experiences; and there is probably something of a mistake always involved when we take particular experiences as the basis for our future life. Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to them.” – Alfred Adler, What Life Could Mean to You

Today’s session took a deep look underneath behavior at the beliefs, needs and burdens our teens carry with them. It is a lot to digest and our hope is that you left with a greater empathy for yourself and your teens. If you’d like to learn more about private logic and the work of Dr. Alfred Adler, check out the  Alfred Adler Institute of Northwestern Washington webpage: http://www.adlerian.us/homepage.htm.

ReadPositive Discipline for Teenagers Chp. 12. This chapter solidifies what we talked about today.  We will be coming back to it next week when we take a closer look at how and when misbehavior shows up. 

Glasser Needs’ Summary page – review this and identify your strengths in ALL of the categories. These are your priorities,  not your personality. Use this information in the journal prompt below. 

Do – Break the Code – The next time your teen misbehaves, tune in to how you were feeling. (consider keeping a journal). Look at the mistaken goal chart (later, when you are calm) and see if you can identify the mistaken goal.Try one of the encouraging responses that matches the mistaken goal you have identified

Follow the journal prompt in the Homework Session 3 page to deepen your experience.